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How to get unstuck and become unstoppable

by Dr. Eno on March 20, 2014

Stuck Between Rock Hard Place 3 Arrow Road Signs

 

It’s the first official day of spring. We are well onto the end of the first quarter of 2014. I am the first to admit that I have been stuck in some sort of inertia for quite some time now.

For those who have followed me on a regular basis, you may notice that I have not updated my blog in over six months. The longer I stayed off posting updates, the more convinced I became that there were a myriad of other sites out there that my audience may have decided to take advantage of. I was being consumed by my inner gremlin of self-doubt. I convinced myself that I had a bad case of ‘chronic writer’s block’.

But today is the first day of spring. And so I have made a personal commitment to get unstuck.

Has that ever happened to any of you?  If so, I am giving us all the permission to press the reset button and start over today!

But before we can get into action that is going to be effective, we need to take some steps to get into a more empowered space. That way we are able to be more aware of what got us stopped (or stuck) in the past and that way learn from our experiences.  

Identify the breakdown- what is a breakdown? We’re not talking nervous breakdown here, although to some people it may feel that way. A breakdown is an emotional response that occurs when things do not go as planned. So, you have not reached the goals that you set for yourself. State in one simple sentence what it is that you say should have happened.

For instance what shouldn’t be for me would read something like “I stopped updating my blog since last July”

Next identify the upset- this is a great opportunity to write out your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Try not to be judgmental about what it is that you are writing down. Just take the time to write these all down.

So in my situation here, I would write something like, ‘I feel guilty, overwhelmed and stressed out about not consistently updating my blog”

Upsets can keep us stuck. That is because of the judgment about ourselves we attach to the upset. I would suggest you keep writing your feelings down until you are feel lighter and no more bodily sensations come up with the upset.

Write out the facts attached to this breakdown- this is when you get to write as a news reporter would.  Try doing this in one sentence. If you cannot summarize the facts of the situation in one sentence then you may still have some upset attached to the situation. If that’s the case then circle back to the upset and continue writing out your upset until you are clear.

So back to my situation here, “I have not written a blog article since July 17 2013”

Identify what you are committed to next? – This is where we have the power to create something better. Ponder this for a while. Take your time. Ask your inner self what it is that you are committed to happening next.

For instance if set a new years resolution to lose weight. Separate from what the scale says, what is it that you are committed to in the area of health?

 Another way to look at commitment is to see what your stated goal will get you. Now write that out as a statement. If your commitment is to lose weight, focus not on how many pounds you want to lose, rather what losing weight will get you? Is it more energy, a new wardrobe, better relationships?

Then write out your commitment like this, “I am committed to losing weight so that I can have more energy, look and feel better in my clothes and experience more fulfilling relationships with my loved ones”

 

Get into action!- There is no time like NOW to get into action. I’m doing that thing that I felt stuck not doing for 8 months now- writing and updating my blog. So get into action now. Identify one thing that you can do as soon as you finish reading this article that will help you reach your goal and do it.

It may be something as simple as clearing junk food out of the refrigerator and writing a shopping list of some healthy food replacements. The important thing is that now that you are unstuck, take some action- just do it.

To further align myself with my commitment to starting over, and providing great content, I am hosting a live webinar tonight on learn it live tonight.

So here’s the link to the webinar. If you can’t make the live webinar, the great news is that it will be recorded.

Hope you can join me and it’s great to be back!

 

 

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Last week I completed a long standing coaching relationship with my coach, for the last three years. As part of the process that ended our coaching relationship, we performed a completion session. The goal of a completion session is to transition a coaching client powerfully onto what’s next for them. The coach and the client go over the landscape of where they have been together during their coaching relationship, they celebrate wins, address what could have gone better and look toward the future in a powerful way.

My coach asked the question, “So what’s next Eno?” I mulled over the question for a moment, thinking of some deep intellectual answer about all the grand plans I have to transition into a fulltime coaching business as a coach, speaker and author.

But as I delved deeper into exactly what I wanted from this career transition,  I had to ask myself, “What if my only job moving forward is to have a great life?”

         When I was diagnosed with cancer last year, I promised myself when I was told that I was cancer free to make the rest of my days the best of my days. I will be the first to admit that once I got back to living, that promise I made to myself has not been something that I have been intentional about creating.  Not until my coach asked the question about what’s next.

So after our coaching session was completed, I decided to take stock and to ask myself that question again- “Eno, what if your only job moving forward is to have a great life?”

 

What if your only job is to have a great life?

 

Living a great life is possible! The bottom-line is that in some shape or form we all strive to live a great life. But we do not make it our job all the time. We make showing up at our jobs more of a priority than showing up to our lives. And we tend to see having a great life as being contingent on something else. It may be that we assume to have a great life, we need to land a job with a six-figure income, or marry that guy of our dreams, or move into the mansion overlooking the ocean. You get the picture.

And yet we know from experience or from watching the lives of others that sometimes getting all those things does not necessarily translate into the great life that we thought we would have. How come? Because having a great life is a mindset, a way of being. There are some things that we must give up in order to have a great life. There is a way we need to be in order to have a great life.

In order to create a great life, we need to lay a foundation. It’s not going to happen overnight. And so I came up with some practices that are baby steps toward laying that foundation:  

        

         Give up the suffering- Recognize that suffering is a choice. As with any choice, we can always choose differently. I know personally that my default is to approach a lot of things (including updates on my blog here J) from the context that it has to be hard. That the things that I have to do are at times daunting and insurmountable tasks that I have to suffer through. I may have gotten that context from going to medical school.  Everyone believes that ‘it’s not easy’ to become a doctor right? Or I may have gotten the context when I was much younger. That’s not the point here. Identify your flavor of suffering. And choose to let it go. Suffering does not have to be part of our human existence. But it will exist in the absence of our intention to choose otherwise.

         In place of suffering be intentional about choosing how you will experience your life. For example you may choose to experience ease, joy and flow. Repeat an affirmation to yourself, “I choose to release suffering” or “I experience, joy, ease and flow in my life”. Or you can make an entire statement, “I choose to release suffering and experience joy, ease and flow in my life”. Repeat this affirmation to yourself frequently especially when you feel yourself beginning to suffer.

         Learn how to handle overwhelm- Things don’t go exactly as we planned it. Newsflash- That’s life! J  Then we begin to experience overwhelm and stress. And that can set us back from what we say we were committed to. Sometimes overwhelm can even take us out of the game completely and make us feel like failures.

Choosing to live a great life requires that we learn how to handle overwhelm before it gets the best of us. People who are extremely successful in life and seem to have it all handled are adept at handling overwhelm and handling stress.

Here is a simple tool I learned during coach training:

                  Identify the breakdown- in other words what should not be so.

                  Tune into your thoughts, feelings and body sensations surrounding this issue. Don’t analyze them, just be with them.  

                  Summarize the facts of what is going on that is causing the breakdown. No hype or emotion, just what an impartial news reporter would say about the facts surrounding the breakdown.

                  Next ask yourself, what you are committed to separate from the current circumstances of the breakdown.

                           And finally commit to taking action from your commitment.

        

Choose to experience gratitude

         Experiencing gratitude in every moment is a choice that we can all make. Choose a way to express your gratitude. It may be by keeping a gratitude journal. A gratitude journal can be a great resource to go back to when you’re having a particularly trying day for instance. Or it may be that you set a timer on your smartphone every few hours and take time to express gratitude several times a day.

         However you choose to express and experience gratitude, just do it. A grateful spirit has the power to attract more good towards it. 

When all is said and done, if we really committed to making a great life our only job we are going to need support. This is where a coach can work with you. You may not even know what a great life may look like to you. Perhaps you’ve buried those dreams deep inside of you. You may even be afraid to dream.

A coach can help you tune into what a great life would really look like for you. A coach will also help you stretch outside your comfort zone so that you can experience more than you thought possible. That is what I have enjoyed with my coach- Mark Hunter- over the last three years. And this is the same that I would like to extend to you as your coach.

So what if your only job was to have a truly great life? Would you like to find out what’s possible? For more information about coaching with me, click here.

Until next time, to your health and wellbeing,

What do you think? If your only job were to have a great life- what would you have that life to look like?  What are the things that you would like to create? What are the things that you would give up tolerating? Are there relationships that you would let go off? And are there relationships that you would take time to nurture? What are the things that you would commit to optimize your health and wellbeing?

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